from Katie Webb's Blog

I know I've been guilty of this and also a victim. Thank you Katie for putting this in words...and not minding that I stole it.. (at least I assume...)

To All Mothers, Young and Old
from The Webb's by The Webb's
CautionThis post is filled with emotion. It is something I am feeling strongly about at this time in my life. I have a lot of hurt in my heart right now. If you think its inappropriate for me to post things like this on my own blog then read no further. Seriously.I have a favor to ask to anyone and everyone who is, or has been, a mother..........STOP CRITICIZING EACH OTHER.......Please! I admit I'm an offender, but I've come to realize in the last week that mothers are very judgemental of each other and it has to stop.Okay, are you ready for a confession? I make mistakes and, to be quite honest, I have no clue what I'm doing most of the time. I've never been a mom before so, just like mothers all over the world, I'm doing the best I know how. I take things day to day and figure them out as I go.I don't mind taking advice from women who have raised children. But keep in mind that no matter how many kids you've raised, you've never raised mine, so there is no possible way for you to know everything about her and her needs. All of us were raised differently, therefore we will not always agree on the correct way to raise a child. ITS OKAY TO NOT AGREE WITH EACHOTHER, IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYONE IS RIGHT OR WRONG, WE'RE JUST DIFFERENT!!If you raised 2 or 5 or 16 or any number of children, then you are surely a wise and amazing person. But before you judge a young new mother who has been doing this for 8 months, take a brief second to look back to when you had your first child 20+ years ago. Were you over protective? Did you spoil him/her? Did you have a hard time taking the bottle away from him/her? Even when he/she was 3 years old? Did you get stressed out when you were in public and your child was screaming and you weren't sure what to do about it? Where you nervous leaving your child with a baby sitter? Where you paranoid about germs? About what food you gave your baby? Did you give your child formula instead of breast milk (which is OKAY!!!!)? Did you love your child so much that you would do anything for them, did you always do what you felt was best regardless of what others thought of you? Take time to realize that you know more about children because you have years of experience of trial and error. And remember that you learned most of what you know from your own hands on experience and mistakes. Allow young mothers the same opportunity for learning and growth. Don't be afraid to give us advice or suggestions, tell us what worked for your children. But don't be judgemental, don't tell us the right or wrong way to raise a child because there's no book of rules or instructions. We do the best we can and we learn more every day. Most important, don't tell everyone you know that you think so-and-so is a bad mom. 90% of the time, gossip like that gets back to the person you're talking about, and it isn't fair to that person or the person who gets put in the middle of it.I promise to stop being so critical of the way other women raise their children. I never knew how hard it would be. Now that I have been the victim of harsh judgement, I have a new found respect for all mothers. I feel like I try to do what is best for Morgan. I actually make a conscience effort each day to raise her the way I think Heavenly Father would want me to. I don't do everything right, but I try to do everything righteously. I know I fail sometimes, but the effort is there and I honestly am doing the best I know how, which is why it comes as a shock when such judgements are placed on me. I realize that all mothers are doing the same. So I apologize for any criticizing I've done, any unfair judgements I've placed on anyone, and any feelings I've hurt in doing so.Aahhh, I feel a little better.